We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
