i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
