Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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