i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
