I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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