This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
