I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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