The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
