I want you more than these girls want KFC
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
