anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
