I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
