I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
