She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
