Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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