Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
