We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
