her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
