you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
