I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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