i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
