We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
