we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
