Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
