Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
