I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just google imaged poop.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
