I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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