I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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