I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
