I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
porn star boner night. come get it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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