Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
