fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
