Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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