do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
