kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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