don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
either way he was missing a nipple.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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