he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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