ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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