I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
