Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
