remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
