Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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