It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
