those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
