Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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