It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
