you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
As shirtless as possible
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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