I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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