And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
