Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
