At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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